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zombie. zoooooombie!

2001-12-07<>10:59 p.m.

lately, i have been dreading going to sleep, even though i am dead tired. why? i hate that rough period from the time you lie down, to the time you fall asleep. i like to call it the "stay-awake-when-you-shoud-be-asleep period." its not like im an insomniac, in fact, i get to sleep rather quickly. but for that 10 minutes or so... i hate it! i hate it, i hate it, i hate it!

im tired right now, but i dont want to go to sleep just for that reason. it is very uncomforting and wierd for me. it never used to be, but lastely, it has been.

ive tried hypnosis while trying to fall asleep "1 - youre getting tired, you can feel yourself relaxing. 2 - your eyelids are getting heavier and they want to close. 3 - you can feel yourself sinking into the couch (i sleep on the couch)... etc." i would say to myself. it still doesnt work. even after i reach 5, i am still awak for another five minutes.

what? you sleep on the couch?

yes, i sleep on the couch


because i dont like sleeping in beds. dont get me wrong, i have a bed. three to be exact (one upstairs in the empty room. and one in my room with a pull-out trundle).


so yes, getting back to what i was saying. i sleep on the couch. maybe its just too cold in the living room. i have a blanket and a sleeping bag to keep me warm though. however, the sleeping bag is always on the floor by morning. but i dont think that has anything to do with me falling asleep. i just wish i could hit the couch and fall asleep like that. wham. bam. thank you, maam.

shut up

im not done yet!


maybe im not tired enough. seeing as how ive been getting 10-11 hours of sleep every night, i think i am tired enough. or maybe im not. i like going to bed around 9 or so because waking up late is gross. however, a lot of times, i sleep in later, till like 9 or 10.

this brings me back to the point i made earlier about needing a routine. i need something that will wake me up at 7 or 6 in the morning so i can take full advantage of the day. even if full advantage consists of playing snood and the sims in my room for several hours.


(no, waking up early to go work out/run doesnt work. i need somethign to motivate me. something like "if i dont wake up early, i will fail school" or "if i dont wake up early, i will get fired.)

but alas, i do not attend school nor do i have a job. i think that if i copied and pasted this entry on a resume instead of putting my made-up work experience (because i have none) someone would hire me out of sheer pity.

are you done yet?