when you leave:
wish list

before all after

im moving to the mountians

2001-10-03<>10:02 a.m.

its my fucking diary, i will write what i wish.

you are getting this all wrong. he liked me, he said he did. why did he choose to not make me his girlfriend? because i was leaving AND "i dont want to get into a relationship right now." i took that to mean with anyone. so what does he do after i leave? you guessed it! he goes back on what he says and gets into a nice little relationship.

one of the things that made me mad when everything went down was the fact that scott was all flirty-schmirty with kara, his friend. "were just friends" he would explain to me. he also told me that cassidy was also "just" his "friend." but then again, i was "just a friend" too, so why should i be angry?

and if i did something to gross him out, don't you think he would be a bit more distant from me other than the last day we were able to hang out. i mean, dear god, its not like anyone was forcing him to invite me to the lake.

wait a minute... i dont even have the right to be angry, i wasnt his girlfriend. i was




and thats right, i do have a boyfriend now, a boyfriend that makes me the happiest ive ever been. but as alaina once said at one point in time in her home, "maybe he just has a problem with girls" or something. something to the gist of "maybe he just cannot get into a relationship, maybe he is afraid" or something. yes, well maybe he does. and maybe i have a problem too. everyone has problems. maybe my problems is the fact that i hold grudges. perhaps its the fact that i cannot seem to get over anything. yeah. maybe i have problems too. shouldnt hold it against him, right? well then, DONT FUCKING HOLD IT AGAINST ME.

dont worry, i wont bother you anymore.