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before all after

you dont need to read this

2001-08-31<>2:56 p.m.

i dont really know what my problem is. rebekah says i have "intimacy issues" and garrett agrees. i guess i also agree because i do have problems when it comes to that kind of stuff. why? i have no clue. people dont believe me when i say that i dont know why. but i dont.

this is one of the reasons that i feel like a 6th grader still, even though i am in college. i feel like i am some kind of complete immature retard. even my highschool counselor pounded it into my head. i mean, i didnt talk with her about "intimacy issues" but she assured me that my brain was just not developed yet or something.

so why hasnt it?

will i not let it for reasons unknown to me? i have no clue. i really dont know.

or maybe i do know, and i just wont let myself realize it. its not like i was molested or something when i was little. i mean, my parents were nice, we never really had any wierd creepy neighbors. my aunt never did anything to me. so if its not these, then what is it? i believe that it would be a lot easier if i knew so i could tell those who are close to me what exactly my problem is.

or maybe i was molested and i just dont wish to remember