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looking back...

2001-07-14<>11:46 p.m.

sometimes, rebekah makes me sad. sometimes, she says stuff that--and even she admits--is condescending. she says that i will look back on the events that have happened in my life, the events that i take with such drama now, and i will laugh.

thats what she said almost a year ago.

i cannot look back and laugh on any events that have happened yet. i can look back and joke about them with friends. but i cant seriously look back and think to myself and say ha ha ha, boy oh boy, was i ever stupid back then! i cant believe i made such a big deal out of that. ha ha ha... its funny, i can look back, now, and laugh. ha ha ha.

ive come to notice that a lot of what i do, i have a reason for it. and a lot of what i do, i dont feel sorry for it afterwards. even if i dont think about something before i do it, and the events turn out bad, i am still not going to wish i had done something else. this probably doesnt make sense. i guess i could sum almost everything up with three very cliched words.

i regret nothing.

its lame, but i think its pretty much true. why would you want to go through life wishing you had done something else? if youre gonna do something, make it a firm point on what you are doing and do it!

yeah, you could probably find instances on where i am a giant hypocrite. and i understand that i am a giant hypocrite. but feel free to point them out to me if you wish.