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... and theyre off!

2001-06-08<>7:21 p.m.

i dont think i will do very well in life. that is, when i actually get out on my own and get a real job.


i cannot stand to be second string. i cannot stand to play supporting actress to someone. i cannot stand to be beat and things i want to win at. everything is a contest to me. i am constantly in competition. boys, school, everything else.

i hate it when i like someone, but they like my friends instead (ive lost count). so what do i do? go somewhere where there isnt so much competition.

okay, so, i am not in competition with EVERYONE. just the people that i have the slightest change at winning. for instance, i would never go after a boy that kristyn liked because she is soooo way cuter than i am, and also, she is nice. and generally, i am not even the kind of person to go after anyone that my friends like (with the small small exceptance of jennifer, which i feel horrible about... ha, but not like it matters anyway, huh?). but i guess sometimes i am up for it and i must go after what you want also. just to show that i am NOT a loser and that i can be good at SOMETHING.

of course, this has not proved true at all in the boys department. but as far as school and whatnot goes... hurray for me!

i dont remember where i was going with this entry. but i think you might be able to see my point.

but you cannot tell me that i am the only one who notices this. its blatantly obvious, isnt it?