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2001-05-04<>3:59 p.m.

all this talk about jennie and steven lately has left me very very uncomfortable. i feel insanely uncomfortable when i am around him, and i think he is creepy/greasy/icky etc. i really have no reason to think this besides the fact that he is a manipulative bastard (but then again, so am i... but not as bad) and the fact that when he stared at me, i didnt like what i saw in his eyes.

so i am a lunatic, right?

i guess so, but i am trying to get over this "fear" of steven. i mean, i am uncomfortable around him, right? well, what about knowing that him and jennie are seeing eachother. that makse me extremely uncomfortable (gee, i wish i had a thesaurus. uncomfortable is getting old).

so after school, i went over to scotts house because i remember him telling me stories of how he was friends with someone, and then they werent friends, but now theyre all cool and everythings fine. i ask him how he did that. how that can happen. so scott and i try to figure out how i get over this whole "steven is creepy/icky/greasy" stage.

he wasnt much help

so now, not only do i feel awkward around steven, but i feel like an ass going to scott with my problems like that. i wouldnt doubt if he thought i was some kind of crazy lunatic. i mean, why not? everyone else thinks that. but who else can i talk to? rebekah has been silent for the last half hour. i have already talked to jennie about this. i cant talk to anyone else, because i find them annoying.

ugh. i am a moron
(that is the reactive excuse)