when you leave:
wish list

before all after

an open letter to all the boys


Suzy Gonzales
P.O. Box 8816
Red Bluff, Ca 96080

dear boys,

first of all, i would like to thank you boys who are my friends. thank you for being my friends, boys. also, for you boys who have badly burned me: you are stupid and man-oh-man did you miss out on something totally cool. oh well, you had your chance.

for the boys that i am still on good terms with, i have included in this letter three simple rules to help you understand me better, and perhaps after reading these, we can continue to persue a healthy friendship:

#1. you shall be nice to me, thats all.

#2. never ever ever play guitar or drums when i am within listening distance. failure to follow this rule will result in me crushing on you madly, and i cannot be held responsible for this behavior.

#3. if you like me, for god sakes, tell me. i am so insanely naive and i would never pick up on it in a million years. also, i am not generally the one to make a first move, so dont by shy!

there you have it, the three basic rules of a boy-girl friendship with me, suzy. i hope that this letter has helped you, feel free to use it as a reference to the art of being suzy's friend.

thank you,

Suzy Gonzales

P.S. it would also be nice if you held the door open for me, because that is just common courtesy. please keep in mind that this is regardless of whether or not we are dating.