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no really, i am


i dont know what happened.

i was just sitting here, talking to a friend, when all of a sudden i just started bawling. i dont know why. well, i do know why, but i dont want to really share it in here. those of you who know me well enough know what it was about, probably. i need to stop pretending that it doesnt bother me anymore. i need to stop acting like i am fine at school or when i am around others. i need to stop bottling it up and having the chance of a small eruption.

i was scared.

my head felt all wierd, my face was tingly. i mustve been hypervenillating because i felt as if i was going to pass out. i told the person i was talking to that i needed to lie down for a minute. so i did. i layed on the floor, because my bed is full of crap. my face was soaked with tears, i kept pulling the tissues out of the box. having a stuffy nose does not help with the discomfort either.

i finally pulled myself together and stood back up, only to look out the window and realize that my mother was pulling in the drive. good thing i collected my nerves in time. my mom would think there was something wrong with me if she was me laying on the floor of my room and my face soaking wet.

im okay.