when you leave:
wish list

before all after

i think i am the only girl that has not made out with anyone


as i said in my last entry, i have been extremely lonely lately. i have heard that around the holidays is when people get the loneliest. in fact, in the pamphlet i picked up at school, it suggests that you should plan ahead for the holidays because thats when people are the loneliest. as you can see from my previous entry, that is what i have been trying to do.


i have been extremely lonely lately. again. michael refuses to get a hold of me. either that or hes dead. i am always at home, online. thats about how my life goes. i dont go and do stuff with friends after school, in fact, the only time i even see other human beings (besides my parents) is when i am at school. i want a boyfriend. i want someone who i can go to educational-type places with. i want to go to the zoo with a boyfriend. i want to go to the planetarium with a boyfriend. i want to go the aquarium with a boyfriend. i want to go to the exploritorium with a boyfriend. anywhere, actually, would be nice.

everyone seems to be making out with someone else these days. i dont do that though. i dont make out with people. why? i dont know. i guess i just dont, i have never had the chance too. rebekah suggests therapy for me. not just for this reason, but for other reasons. i agree with her, but i am not going to see a therapist. sorry, rebekah.

i had a dream last night about my friend. i am debating on whether or not to mention his name. ahh hell, why not? last night i had a dream about brandon. he is super cool and definately my best guy friend. we had some great times in school last year. last night, i had a dream about brandon, and i suppose we were seeing eachother. it was so nice to know that someone (besides my girl friends) cared about me. he bought me a pretty doll... and a volvo. but thats beside the point. in my dream, brandon was my boyfriend and he was nice to me and he cared about me and he did stuff with me. i would like someone like that in real life. (but they dont have to buy me cars or anything).

when i woke up, i thought "hmmm... that was odd. i had a dream i was dating brandon. maybe it would be fun to go out with him one of these days. oh wait, he has a girlfriend. i asked some peple at school if it would be wrong of me to ask brandon if his girlfriend would get mad if we went out. they said yes. theyre right, besides, if i did that, i would be a total hypocrite (ha ha... like im not that already). i will not be asking brandon to go on a date with me anytime soon. dont worry. i am not a homewrecker.

i still want someone to be my boyfriend.